Test

What's Your Attachment Style?

Ten questions about closeness, trust and conflict in relationships. Find out whether your style leans secure, anxious, avoidant or fearful-avoidant.

10 questionsAbout 2 min

This test is for fun and self-reflection, not a clinical assessment. If relationship worries affect your well-being, a licensed therapist can help.

See all 10 questions

  1. 1. When someone you're dating doesn't text back for hours, you…

    • Assume they're busy and carry on
    • Worry something's wrong
    • Feel relieved to have some space
    • Worry, then tell yourself you don't care

  2. 2. Getting emotionally close to someone feels…

    • Natural and good
    • Wonderful, but I fear losing it
    • A bit uncomfortable
    • Exciting and scary at once

  3. 3. In an argument with a partner, you tend to…

    • Talk it through calmly
    • Need reassurance it'll be okay
    • Go quiet and need space
    • Shut down, then feel hurt

  4. 4. How easily do you trust new people?

    • Fairly easily, once I know them a bit
    • I want to, but I fear being let down
    • Slowly; I rely on myself
    • It's hard; people often disappoint

  5. 5. When a partner wants more closeness, you…

    • Enjoy it
    • Feel relieved and happy
    • Feel crowded
    • Feel torn

  6. 6. Your biggest relationship worry is…

    • Not much; we'll work things out
    • Being abandoned
    • Losing my independence
    • Getting hurt if I open up

  7. 7. When you're upset, you…

    • Reach out to someone I trust
    • Need a lot of reassurance
    • Prefer to handle it alone
    • Want comfort but don't ask for it

  8. 8. After a breakup, you usually…

    • Feel sad, then move on in time
    • Struggle to let go
    • Bounce back quickly
    • Feel both relief and regret

  9. 9. Depending on a partner feels…

    • Fine, and they can depend on me
    • Important; I need to know they're there
    • Risky; I'd rather not
    • Something I want but avoid

  10. 10. Which describes your past relationships best?

    • Mostly stable and supportive
    • Intense, with lots of worry
    • Fine, but kept at arm's length
    • Up and down

The possible results

  • Secure

    You find it fairly easy to get close to people and to trust them, and you're comfortable with both closeness and independence. When conflict happens, you talk it through. Secure attachment is the most common style, and it can grow at any age.

  • Anxious

    You care deeply and want to feel close, but you can worry about whether others feel the same. Unanswered messages or distance can feel unsettling. Naming your needs clearly, and choosing people who respond warmly, helps a lot.

  • Avoidant

    You value independence and can feel uneasy when relationships get very close or emotional. You may pull back under stress. Small steps toward sharing feelings can make closeness feel safer.

  • Fearful-avoidant

    You want closeness, but part of you is wary of getting hurt, so you can swing between pulling people in and pushing them away. Understanding this pattern is a powerful first step, and many people find therapy helpful.